Ethical Software by Alex Bunardzic

Couple of nights ago, I caught the notorious comedian Dave Chapelle delivering his stand up routine in which he spoke passionately and convincingly about the need for radical simplicity. While talking about how most women are lamenting the death of chivalry, Chapelle remarked how it is they, women, who actually killed it. He blamed women-centric media (actually, women’s magazines) for writing phony articles about men and their needs. You see, women, said Dave, know absolutely nothing about men. And not knowing anything about the real needs of most men, they ruin everything by fantasizing about what is it that men truly want. These fantasies then get published in high circulation women’s magazines, which most women read and then form completely screwed opinions on how to deal with their men. Not surprisingly, this resulted in the death of chivalry, as men gradually shied away from the time tested principles governing the gentlemanly behavior.

Chapelle related how he recently saw a women’s magazine in his girlfriend’s apartment, which had the following headline on its cover: “100 Ways To Please Your Man”.

This is where Dave made his plea for radical simplicity. I’ll paraphrase here, but in a nutshell, here is what he said:

It is totally unreal to blab on about hundred ways to please a man. In reality, there are only four ways that a woman can please her man:

1. Perform oral sex on him (Dave used a bit juicier language here, but you get his drift)
2. Play with his testicles a bit (again, imagine a bit juicier language here)
3. Make him a sandwich
4. Talk less

So there you have it, in a nutshell, a radically simple list of only four ways a man will get full satisfaction from his woman. Basically, anything above and beyond these four activities will pretty much fail to impress most men. So, the advice is to stick with the radical simplicity and forsake all the unnecessary complications.