Ethical Software by Alex Bunardzic

In response to my previous post (Smart Master), Steven asked:

“What are typical behaviors of a smart servant?”

That’s a really good, and a very timely question, Steven. Servants certainly do not walk around with a smartness certificate stapled on their forehead. So it is vitally important for us to learn how to recognize if a servant is smart. And the easiest way to do that is to keep in mind several key points, which I’m about to discuss here.

Dumb Servants Can Do Smart Things

Just because a servant can do something smart, doesn’t mean that he is smart. How’s that possible, you ask? Well, consider a scenario where you are drowning and asking your servant to help you, and he responds with a very elaborate explanation of Einstein’s theory of relativity. Would you say that such servant is smart?

So we see that in order to qualify as being smart, a servant must exhibit certain degree of sensitivity. Insensitive servants, no matter how well educated and trained, are ultimately hopelessly dumb. A sensitive servant, on the other hand, always appears smart, even if his education and training leaves a lot to be desired.

Smart Servants are Aware of the Context

Same request, repeated under different circumstances, must not yield the same response. Smart servants know that. Dumb servants don’t know the difference that a context may bring. If you are lounging on your front porch on a hot summer day, and you ask your servant to bring you a cold beer, the servant should immediately obey your command and promptly bring you the beer mug. If, on the other hand, you are in the middle of fixing the garage door and ask your servant to bring you a cold beer, the servant should not shove the beer mug in your face while you’re in the midst of a very delicate task. But that’s exactly what a dumb servant would do. Dumb servants have no finesse whatsoever.

If the servant is smart, he will know that he needs to wait for the opportune moment before serving you the beer you asked for. He is aware of the context. He knows that there is a difference between the situation when his master is lounging, and when his master is absorbed in a more important activity.

Smart Servants are Extremely Attentive

The prime directive for a servant is to pay attention. The servant’s job is first and foremost to pay attention to what his master is doing. Servants have no other duty in the world but to do just that — pay attention to their masters.

Dumb servants are dumb precisely because they fail this simple test — they are not paying attention. They need you to tell them everything explicitly, and because they are not really paying attention to you, they need you to keep repeating yourself. This is the reason why dumb servants are so bloody infuriating.

Smart Servants are Extremely Keen on Learning from their Master

Paying close attention is not enough — servants are expected to learn from the experience of interacting with you, their master. Since you are not a mechanical contraption, there will be infinite variety in the way you do things and in the way you expect things to happen. Smart servants are dedicated to learning about these variations in your behavior and expectations. Smart servants readily embrace change.

Smart Servants Possess Very Reliable Memory

Dumb servants are easy to recognize on account of the fact that they are very forgetful. For example, if you are using Microsoft Word (a software servant) to create a document, upon telling your servant to store the document on the disk, the servant will try to shove it in the ‘My Documents’ folder. You may get upset about your servant’s decision (”What do you mean ‘My Documents’ folder? Whose documents would they be?”), and order him to store the document in the ‘Drafts’ folder. Of course, the servant won’t know how to do that, so you would have to hold his hand and help him navigate to that folder.

But in addition to such obvious idiotic incompetency of your servant, what you’ll discover later on is that he wasn’t really paying any attention to what you were telling him. Even though you took painstaking efforts to explain to your servant that ‘Drafts’ folder is the place you prefer to keep your newly created documents in, your dumb servant will promptly and blissfully forget all about it the next time you tell him to store the document you’ve created.

So, a dumb servant (and you cannot possibly get any dumber than Microsoft Word) is easily identifiable as someone who isn’t paying any attention to his master’s preferences. In addition, this dumb servant tends to promptly and merrily forget everything his master had showed him and had instructed him to do.

Smart Servants Make Correct Assumptions

Dumb servants are notorious for making wrong assumptions about their masters. Like in the previous example, when Microsoft Word made an assumption that you would like to store your documents in the folder that was idiotically named ‘My Documents’. Naming something that belongs to you as ‘My This’ or ‘My That’ is hardly the most intelligent choice of names. If I have produced something to begin with, it is obviously mine. So it would be utterly redundant to call it ‘My Something’.

Smart servants are easy to spot because they come with all kinds of reasonable assumptions about the way their master works. Smart servants assume that they should not insult their master’s intelligence by offering him to store his stuff in a location called ‘My Stuff’. And wouldn’t you know it, such an assumption is right on the money.

Furthermore, smart servants assume that their master prefers to be treated with respect. Again, this is a 100% correct assumption, as it would be literally impossible to find a person who would prefer to be treated with disrespect.

Another very important assumption that all smart servants share is the conviction that their masters would not like to be put on the spot. No one likes to feel inadequate. Knowing this for a fact, smart servants always do whatever is in their power to ensure that their master never feels inadequate.

Smart Servants Never Insist that their Master is the Wizard

I was once tasked with installing Oracle client on my system. When I complained that I am not an Oracle expert, the DBA assured me that I don’t have to be an Oracle expert to install the product on my system. The DBA explained to me that the product comes with a built-in smart servant, or in his parlance, a ‘wizard’.

This ‘wizard’ was supposed to come equipped with the expertise needed to install the product, so all I was supposed to do was follow the wizard’s guide.

Fine. I started the wizard, he introduced himself to me, and started telling me what to do. But then, all of a sudden, and without any forewarning, he started asking me what should he do next! Now, how did that happen? How did I, all of a sudden, become an expert in installing Oracle?

Needless to say, I felt betrayed. There I was, completely ignorant, tossed into the fire by this seemingly knowledgeable ‘wizard’. The ‘wizard’ was asking me how should he perform the next critical step, while at the same time warning me that a wrong decision on my part could jeopardize the entire installation.

I remember feeling infuriated. That ‘wizard’ definitely wasn’t a smart servant. So when choosing your next smart servant, make sure that he won’t be inclined to stab you in the back and turn the tables on you the way Oracle ‘wizard’ did on me.

Smart Servants are Never Intrusive

In a way, the difference between a smart servant and a dumb servant is similar to the difference between a smart waiter and a dumb waiter. Smart waiter is not necessarily more knowledgeable about the menu and the specials than his colleague, the dumb waiter. But a smart waiter will have the finesse to know exactly when to approach you, what to ask you, and what to tell you. He will also know when not to approach you.

The reverse holds true for a dumb waiter. This is a servant who is very intrusive. He tends to approach your table when you least need him (i.e. when you’re in the middle of a very important part of the conversation). Dumb waiters typically lack the discretion. You usually know when you’re dealing with a dumb waiter because whenever you really need him (to order your lunch, to ask for another beer, or to ask for a bill), he is nowhere to be found. But when you absolutely need to be left alone with your friends or colleagues, the dumb waiter would incorrigibly be bumbling around your table.

Intrusiveness is thus perceived not only as ‘in your face’ annoying attitude, but also as absence of assistance when you most need it. Smart servants, like smart waiters, are never in your way, and are always next to you just when you need them. They are aware of the context, and have the finesse to watch you attentively and to learn from you.

Smart Servants Avoid Foolish Consistency

Machines are characterized by foolish consistency. Their behavior is mechanical, and thus predictable. Machines have no finesse.

Humans are all about finesse. Variety in behavior. Slight unpredictability of the responses to the familiar stimuli.

Because of that, humans appreciate servants who are not dumb as a doornail. And servants who insist on being consistent in everything they do are indeed dumb as a doornail. Foolish consistency, exhibited by almost all dumb servants, is something human masters despise. As such, foolish consistency is something smart servants tend to avoid.

Why Does Software Have the Potential to be the Most Perfect Smart Servant?

Even the most devoted human smart servant cannot compete with software when it comes to several crucial characteristics. For example, there isn’t anything in the world that could approach software’s ability to pay close attention to what’s happening. Machines, and especially software products, have infinite patience. They possess the stamina to keep fixated and undivided attention for indefinite amount of time, and as such, can outperform even the most dedicated human servants.

In addition, machines possess unlimited and flawless memory. They can memorize, down to the tiniest detail, everything that ever transpired during the interaction with the human master. Not only is their memory infallible, it is also lightning fast. Machines can recall any event, regardless of how long ago it happened, in a split second.

Because of their practically unlimited memory and undivided attention, machines are perfectly positioned to learn from their masters. They possess unlimited capacity for learning. This is in stark contrast with human servants, who tend to reach the point of saturation and tiredness rather quickly.

Why is Software Not Smart?

Despite the fact that software has a built-in capacity to pay perfect attention to what the master is doing, plus it possesses the unlimited capacity for memorizing everything and thus the ability for unlimited learning, most software servants in existence today are excruciatingly dumb. You may be wondering why such a huge discrepancy between software’s awesome ability and its lousy capability in real life?

Basically, the primary reason for that discrepancy is software’s lack of common-sense. As we’ve seen, software doesn’t seem to be aware of the context. This awareness is only possible if servants possess certain degree of common-sense.

Furthermore, most of the dumb software servants in existence today suffer from not being able to make correct assumptions. Again, if you wish to be able to make correct assumption, you need to operate from the common-sense standpoint, which is something current batch of software servants is sorely lacking.

In addition to that, smart servants manage not to be intrusive by applying their common-sense judgement. This is closely related to the ability to make correct assumptions. And both these abilities are closely tied with the ability to think in common-sense terms.

Finally, it takes plenty of imagination for a servant not to fall into the foolish consistency trap. Presently, machines lack that kind of imagination, and are thus invariably foolishly consistent.

Learning From Other People’s Mistakes

Often times, people tend to get mystified by the concept of a smart servant. The problem is that we still don’t have sufficient evidence that such a thing is possible. Most software products in existence today are far from being exemplary of the smart servant concept. So all we have to refer to is a whole gamut of more or less dumb servants. The trick now is how to learn from other people’s mistakes.

It helps if we learn about the most hideous examples; this experience will at least teach us what to avoid at all costs. But most people don’t even know what the most hideous examples are. This is due to the fact that most people have never been exposed to a half-decent smart servant, and so cannot perceive the contrast between lousy and decent services.

If in doubt when trying to learn what to avoid at all costs, I suggest you look into Microsoft’s products. They are the indisputable champions when it comes to creating dumb servants. All Microsoft products offer all the horrendous features that lace the typical dumb servant: they are rude, they treat their masters with disrespect, they don’t pay attention to what their master is doing, they need to be told how to do something over and over again, they have extremely lousy and unreliable memory. Plus, they enjoy putting their master on the spot, making him feel utterly inadequate.

In addition, Microsoft products are incredibly intrusive, they tend to make all the wrong and unwarranted assumptions, they refuse to learn anything from their masters, and they are foolishly consistent in insisting that their masters are always wrong (they like to torture their masters with reporting incomprehensible errors that incomprehensibly occurred because the master did something).

Please, if at all possible, learn from Microsoft’s mistakes. They are very blatant, very in your face. When creating software servants, please keep in mind not to repeat any of the typical mistakes found in the Microsoft’s products.